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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24601804">darling, only you can read my mind</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepingforthelonely/pseuds/keepingforthelonely'>keepingforthelonely</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Women's Soccer RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Fluff, Humor, christen is a gay mess, friends first, tobin is oblivous</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:00:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,910</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24601804</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepingforthelonely/pseuds/keepingforthelonely</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Christen is dead set on asking her best friend out on a date, but nothing ever goes according to plan.</p><p> </p><p>Or, four times Christen is a mess and one time her plan actually works.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tobin Heath/Christen Press</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>261</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>darling, only you can read my mind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is my first crack at writing fanfic.<br/>it's just a fluffy little thing, i feel like we need a little humor right now.<br/>it is also unbeta'ed, so all mistakes are my own.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Christen turns towards her bedside table, grabs her phone and turns off the alarm before it even rings. She’s been awake for a few hours now. Actually, she could barely close her eyes all night long. She stayed up all night playing the scene out in her head, imagining how she could approach Tobin and ask her out on a date. She is thankful she doesn’t have a roommate this time, otherwise she would have driven her mad as well.</p><p>God, how could she be so socially inept? Why can’t she act like a normal human being? Everyone she knows has asked someone out at least once in their lives. So why can’t she? Why can’t Christen just ask the girl of her dreams out?</p><p>Because she’s useless, that’s why. She’s useless, she’s gay and she’s a mess.</p><p>See, Christen has known Tobin for a few years now, and they’ve gotten close – best friends kind of close. But Christen wants something more. She <em>craves</em> something more. But she’s scared of losing Tobin’s friendship. A thousand different scenarios go through her mind, each one more dreadful than the other. She can’t picture a day in which Tobin isn’t the most important person in her life. She hopes Tobin won’t hate her after this.</p><p>She realized her feelings towards her friend a while ago. It was the little things she felt that stirred her in that direction. She slowly noticed how much better her days were when she’d spend them with Tobin. She memorized every single detail in the Jersey girl’s hazel eyes, wishing she could spend hours staring into them. She often asked Tobin to repeat herself because she was too busy looking at her lips and wondering how they would feel against her own.</p><p>These were not friendly thoughts, and she was okay with it. Because it’s Tobin. Tobin is rainbows and sunshine. Tobin is huge beaming smiles and crushing hugs. Tobin is familiar. Tobin is happiness and warmth. It was only logical that she would fall head over heels for the older woman. How could she not?</p><p>So yes, Christen admits she has been pining after Tobin for a while. She knew Tobin was single – she accidentally overheard Tobin talking about her love life to Megan a couple of weeks ago. And ever since then she’s decided she was going to do it. And today was the day.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>One.</strong>
</p><p>Today she was finally, finally brave enough. Christen was going to ask her best friend out, no matter what happened. She IS going to ask her out. She must. It’s a life or death situation, really. She can’t stand one more minute wondering if their relationship could turn into something deeper.</p><p>She had debated with herself over and over again on how she was going to do it. With herself only, because she couldn’t tell any of her friends. They all know Tobin and if she was rejected, no one would know. She would suffer alone. </p><p>And she needs this moment to be special. In case Tobin accepted the invitation, this would be the defining moment in their newfound relationship, it was the next big step, so it needs to mean something other than just a simple question.</p><p>It took her awhile but Christen finally has everything planned. She would ask her after training, when they’re alone on their walk. It’s their quiet peaceful time, a moment reserved just for them. She wrote everything she wanted to say down on her journal -- after a few dozen drafts - and knows it by heart.</p><p>“You’re asking her out today. After practice. You can do it!” she whispers to herself in front of the bathroom mirror, before she walks out of her hotel room towards the training field.</p><p>Training runs smoothly, nothing too strenuous since they had a game a couple of days ago. <em>The time is now</em> she thinks to herself, as Tobin approaches her with her cleats already off.</p><p>They don’t say anything to each other, being used to this routine already. It started around a year ago. After every training Christen would take a few shots on goal by herself or with Alyssa, while Tobin would juggle or try to nutmeg someone a few feet away. Afterwards they would take off their cleats and start walking around the field by themselves. They’re used to it, it calms and grounds both of them.</p><p>They start walking quietly and after a couple of minutes Christen has pumped herself up enough to start talking without looking over at Tobin. “So, what are you doing this Friday night?”</p><p>“Oh, nothing special. Probably just playing some games with Harry and Ashlyn in my room. We all brought our Switches and Ash claims she can beat me at Mario Kart this time.” Tobin answers, chuckling at Ashlyn’s foolishness.</p><p>Christen takes a deep breath, “Well, that sounds chill and all, but I thought maybe we could go out? You know, enjoy a nice night out and see where it takes us.” She finally says softly while looking at the other girl. “Yeah?” Tobin eyes her curiously, “What were you thinking?”</p><p>“Well, we’re pretty close to Miami, I bet we could find a nice restaurant for dinner. If you want to, of course. I mean- we need food you know? We’re athletes,” <em>fuck Christen get it together, woman</em> “and the hotel food isn’t doing it for me, I mean, what kind of hotel doesn’t have a proper salad, right?” <em>I’m screwing everything up. Abort!! I repeat, abort!</em> “But you don’t have to go, I’ll go alone, it’s fine. Better even, so you can still play with the girls, which is way more fun. Yeah I thin-” Christen stops mid-sentence hating herself. Of course nothing she actually prepared comes out of her lips.</p><p>Tobin laughs, “Relax, Chris. I’d love to go out with you and the gang to eat. I never refuse a nice dinner, you should know that by now.” Christen chokes on air before she can respond, “The gang. Yes, of course. All of us. Why shouldn’t we all go out together, right? You. Me. The A-Team. Megan. Alyssa. Sydney. Yeah, all seven of us. Fun, fun all around.” She avoids looking over at Tobin and pretends to look at the clouds instead. <em>Is that a dog humping an umbrella?</em> </p><p>Dinner with friends it is.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Two.</strong>
</p><p>After her first failed attempt Christen has to come up with a new plan quickly. She needs to put the plan in motion before their last game, otherwise they’d have to go back to their clubs and she would be left wondering for another few weeks. She doesn’t know how she hadn’t thought about it before. It was the perfect plan! Completely foolproof.</p><p>She decided she would give Tobin a new Playstation game, and inside the case she would place a very well thought out handwritten note asking Tobin out to dinner. Simple, painless, fast and, most importantly, she wouldn’t have to talk. This could NOT go wrong. Damn, she was a genius! This is why she attended Stanford.</p><p>In the morning of their game, Christen kindly declines her teammates’ invitation for a spa day and goes out to the nearest video game store. She doesn’t really know which games Tobin plays exactly, but she’s seen her playing one where she was skating a few times, so she decides to buy one of those with a cool cover.</p><p>When she gets back to the hotel, she grabs the note that was inside her drawer and carefully places it inside the case. She hopes Tobin doesn’t notice the game isn’t wrapped in plastic anymore.</p><p>It’s game day and she’s sure that Tobin is in her room having a ‘hard chill’ time. She knocks twice until she hears Tobin’s voice asking her to come in. <em>Girl can’t even move to open the door, why do I like her?</em></p><p>She walks in and sees Tobin laying in bed with a book in hand, black rimmed glasses on her face, hair disheveled like she’s been lying down all day long. It takes Christen’s breath away. <em>This. This is why I like her.</em></p><p>“Hey you,” Tobin greets her with a soft smile. “what’s up?”</p><p>“I was walking around the neighborhood earlier and I accidentally got into a video game store, you know how confused I get in new cities. And since I was there, I decided to check it out. You know, trying to be cool like you guys. Anyway... I saw this one and it made me think of you, thought maybe you’d enjoy it.” she says as she hands Tobin the gift.</p><p>Tobin, already wearing a huge smile on her face, gets up and hugs Christen tightly. “Wow Chris, that’s so thoughtful!” she says and sits back down on her bed, “Ah yeah, this game is so dope! But I’m sorry... I have this one already.” Tobin adds with a guilty tone to her voice, and before Christen can reply, Allie walks into the room.</p><p>“Hi girlies!” Allie greets them with her usual chirpy voice.</p><p>“Hey dude, check this out! Christen just got me this game but I already have it, and I know you don’t. Christen won’t mind if I gave it to you, right Chris?” Tobin pleads with her puppy eyes and Christen has no way out. <em>Yes, I do mind. There’s a freaking love letter inside it! </em>But Christen has this problem where she can never say no to Tobin. “Hmm no! Of course not! Why couldn’t you give the game to Allie? There’s absolutely no reason not to! I actually should have bought it for her in the first place! It makes total sense, doesn’t it?” Christen doesn’t even know what she’s saying anymore. And if either of the other women notice, they don’t mention it.</p><p>“I knew you had a heart of gold.” Tobin replies quickly as she gives the case to Allie.</p><p>“Oh my god, thank you Christen! Now I can kick Tobin’s ass when I get home.” Allie says and puts the game away inside her travel case.</p><p>“Pfft, you wish.” scoffs Tobin with a smug smile on her face.</p><p>Yeah, maybe Christen hadn’t thought this through after all. And now she has to think of a way to sneak back into their room and retrieve the note. She wouldn’t want Allie to know how dumb in love she was.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Three.</strong>
</p><p>Talking didn’t work. Writing a letter clearly didn’t work. So the next logical step is to write an email. Duh. She should have done this in the first place.</p><p>They haven’t seen each other in two weeks, but Christen has a game in Portland the following week so she decides to email Tobin and ask if they can go out, making it clear it would be a date, after the game. Pretty simple. Straight to the point. Harmless. And this time there would be no one to intercept her message.</p><p>It takes her a couple of days to write the email perfectly:</p><p> </p><p>“Dear Tobin, I hope this finds you well.</p><p>I know I’ve never written you an email before and you must find it weird. Why didn’t I text or call? Well, you see... You make me nervous. Really nervous. I’ve tried talking to you but I get lost in your eyes and forget what I meant to say. I’ve tried writing you a note, but I ended up making a fool of myself. And a text only says so much. So, I’m resorting to an email now. And I hope you can read this with an open mind.</p><p>Here goes nothing.</p><p>I like you, Tobin. Not just as friends. Not as best friends. I’ve had feelings for you for a while now, and I’m hoping – <em>wishing</em> - you feel the same for me.</p><p>So, I’m finally asking you out on a date with me. I’ll be in Portland next weekend for the game, and I’d like to take you out for dinner. At that place we went once that had artsy cousine? Do you remember it? Or we can go somewhere else you’d like.</p><p>I really just want to spend some time with you, just the two of us, and let these feelings take over. I think we would have a great time. I know I always enjoy every minute I spend with you.</p><p>Our game is at night and I need to leave early the next day, otherwise our first date would be much more special than a simple dinner.</p><p>If you don’t want to go, I’ll understand. I just needed to ask.</p><p>I hope to hear from you soon.</p><p>Yours,</p><p>Christen.”</p><p> </p><p>It’s been five days. Five whole days and her inbox remains the same. Why didn’t Tobin answer? Even to let her down, she should have answered! She knows Tobin is okay, at home, with internet access, because they have been texting and facetiming every day.</p><p>But she doesn’t ask, afraid of what the other woman might answer. Maybe Tobin doesn’t want to break her heart. Maybe Tobin thinks she’s just a friend and hurting Christen would end their friendship. Maybe Tobin has a girlfriend she didn’t tell Christen about.</p><p>When Christen finally sees Tobin after the game, she gathers enough courage to bring it up, “Hey so, have you checked your email these last few days?”</p><p>“My email? Damn, I don’t even remember my password. I never use it.” Tobin says nonchalantly. “Oh? You… don’t use your email? How do you get all the emails the federation sends us?” Christen is shocked to say the least.</p><p>“Well, they send it to my agent and he tells me. He actually sends me daily texts to remind me of my schedule. You know how bad my memory is. We just thought it would be better this way. Haven’t missed a flight in months!” she is smiling as she replies, as if saying <em>aren’t you proud of me?</em> All Christen can do is smile and nod.</p><p>“Why do you ask though?” Tobin looks at her with curious eyes and Christen doesn’t have time to make up a proper excuse, “Oh, nothing really. I was just wondering if you cleaned your spam folder recently. I heard that’s important. Viruses and stuff.” seems reasonable enough. <em>Gosh I’m such an idiot! I sent an email to the most technology averse human on the planet.</em></p><p>Tobin eyes her cautiously but lets it go.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Four.</strong>
</p><p>The good news is, Tobin hasn’t turned her down yet.</p><p>The bad news is, she can’t turn Christen down if Christen doesn’t ask!</p><p>They’re back at camp but Christen is a bit lost. She doesn’t really know what to do now, her imagination is gone. So she does what anyone else would in a situation like this: she asks Google.</p><p>She grabs her phone and types in “Ways to ask out your best friend”. Yup, that works. She opens a few links until she finds one that has an extensive list of ideas and tips.</p><p> </p><p>- plan a treasure hunt. <em>Yeah right, like Tobin would be focused long enough to solve that.</em></p><p>- put a message inside a fortune cookie. <em>How do people even do this?</em></p><p>- give her baked treats you made yourself. <em>Nope. Christen cannot be trusted in a kitchen.</em></p><p>- make your pet do it for you. <em>This could work but Morena is on the other side of the country, so it’s just not possible.</em></p><p>- give her flowers. <em>Tobin is highly allergic to flowers. She’ll pass on a trip to the hospital.</em></p><p>- write her a poem. <em>She’d tried writing, didn’t work. Next.</em></p><p>- sing or play her a song. <em>Tobin would run away after the first note that came out of Christen’s mouth. Not what she wants.</em></p><p>- give her a talking teddy bear. <em>Okay. Interesting. Cute. Tobin does like plushy things. Maybe this could work.</em></p><p> </p><p>Without much thought and desperate to get this done soon, she googles where the nearest Build-a-Bear is. Luckily it’s in a mall just a quick Uber drive away.</p><p>Christen decides to do the whole thing and not simply get a bear that was already made. Yes, she looks like a fool, being the only adult choosing outfits for the bear, but she’s too concentrated to care.</p><p>She picks a classic teddy bear with soft, light brown fur and a cheery smile. This is for Tobin, so she needs to make it special. She chooses an orange (Tobin’s favorite color) Clemson t-shirt - she asked if there was a plain orange one but the seller told her no, so Clemson it is - and a pair of black athletic shorts. As accessories she chooses a black beanie and soccer ball that she politely asks if it can be stitched to the bear’s foot.</p><p>While the bear is being made, Christen goes into the booth to record her message. She opts for a short and sweet message, “Hi Tobin, this is Christen. I hope you like the bear, I named it Horace. Isn’t he cute and fluffy? Just like you. Anyway, I’d like to ask you out on a date, just the two of us. I hope Horace convinces you to say yes.” she can’t add much more and hopes Tobin will find it cute enough to accept her invitation.</p><p>After a bit of shopping – she couldn’t help herself - she gets back to the hotel and hides the bear inside her closet until dinner time, she can’t risk Alex finding it.<em> Imagine how many jokes she’d make about it!</em></p><p>She decides to leave the bear in front of Tobin’s door, hoping she would find it sweet and be curious enough to press the bear’s belly. Just to make sure Tobin actually gets it, she finds a spot around the corner to hide and waits for the girl to leave her room. It’s nearly 8, so she knows Tobin will leave soon to pick up her dinner order at the reception.</p><p>After around ten minutes Tobin leaves, money in hand, and heads to the elevator. <em>This is it. It’s finally happening!</em> She quickly runs to Tobin’s door once she’s gone and lays the bear on the floor, but not before giving it a kiss on its forehead, “You’re my savior.”</p><p>She goes back to her hidden corner and waits. Suddenly, she’s taken out of her thoughts when she hears a little boy talking animatedly to his family. She decides to glance again just in time to catch the kid looking at the bear on the floor. He’s around 3 years old, and looks at the bear like it’s the most precious thing he’s ever seen. A chill goes down her spine. <em>This cannot be happening. Not again.</em></p><p>She hears the boy’s parents explain the bear isn’t his and he can’t have it. She’s thankful for them, but the boy doesn’t let it go and starts crying. She zones out for a few seconds, praying he will let it go, and just as she finally starts to breathe again thinking the boy gave up, she hears Tobin talking to the crying kid, “Here, you can have it, I think. I’m not sure why it’s on my door. But look, it’s got a soccer ball on its feet, isn’t that dope?”</p><p>The boy hugs her tightly and his parents thank her for her kindness.</p><p>
  <em>FUCKING HELL. Why does Tobin have such a kind heart?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>One.</strong>
</p><p>That’s it. Christen is done making a fool of herself. If Tobin can’t catch the signals then she’s going to be upfront about it. Upfront… but sneaky. Tobin won’t even know what hit her.</p><p>She’s not googling anything anymore. Christen wakes up with her mind made up. She changes quickly into whatever she finds first in her bag, avoiding Alex’s question of where she’s going so early, and walks to the nearest phone store. She purchases a simple smartphone with the cheapest plan she can find, she doesn’t need much. Just enough to send a few texts and maybe a picture or two.</p><p>When she gets back to her room she notices that Alex is already gone. She sits on her bed, adds Tobin’s number to her new phone and types in the first message.</p><p> </p><p><strong>[Unknown number]: </strong>If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.</p><p>It’s cheesy, she knows. But she hopes Tobin will find it funny enough to not simply discard it. Christen lets out a deep breath and goes back to bed, hoping Tobin would read the text soon and reply. She ends up falling back asleep, but is brought out of her slumber by the gentle beep of her phone.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> Who dis? I think u got the wrong number buddy.</p><p>Christen smiles, of course Tobin wouldn’t think it was meant for her. She quickly replies:</p><p><strong>[Unknown number]:</strong> No. This is for you, Tobin. I hope you have a great day. Xoxo, your secret admirer</p><p>Right after she hits send, she remembers they’re kind of famous and Tobin could think she was a creepy dude trying to hook up. She doesn’t want Tobin to think she’s a stalker.</p><p><strong>[Unknown number]:</strong> I’m not a fan or someone creepy, so please don’t block me.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> riiight. Can u prove it? Pls tell me who u r.</p><p><strong>[Unknown number]:</strong> I’ll tell you when the time comes. But… I can prove it.</p><p><strong>[Unknown number]:</strong> When you were 11, you accidentally broke your brother’s arm after a water gun fight.</p><p>Christen decides on that story because she’s heard Tobin tell it quite a few times to their friends. There was no way Tobin would figure out who it was, but she would also know that only family and friends knew about this.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> k, u got my attention.</p><p>Christen smiles to herself and decides to only text her again tomorrow. She’s going to ride this out and see how long she can keep Tobin on her toes. It’s her own damn fault for not figuring out that Christen has a crush on her. <em>Let Tobin suffer for a minute.</em></p><p>Christen goes on about her day, she sees Tobin during film session, making sure they sit together, as they always do. But she excuses herself early and goes back to her room for some meditation and yoga. A calm day to herself is what she needs to free her mind off the other woman.</p><p> </p><p>The first thing she does the next day is send another text.</p><p><strong>[Unknown number]:</strong> I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> wow that one is 2 cheesy. I expected better</p><p><strong>[Unknown number]: </strong>I just hope it made you smile. Have a good day.</p><p>Throughout the day Christen notices that Tobin checks her phone a little more often than she usually does. Thankfully, she’s able to keep herself in check and not be too nervous about this whole thing, otherwise Tobin would figure out pretty soon that she was her secret admirer and she COULD NOT fail again.</p><p> </p><p>This goes on for a few more days.</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> haha, better. can I ask when u fell for me?</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> No. But it’s been a while.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> why won’t u just tell me? I won’t bite.</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> Maybe I want to be bitten. </p><p>Christen CANNOT believe she just sent that. Why can’t she delete sent messages? <em>This app is stupid.</em></p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> Oh feisty! I see. I might be into it.</p><p> </p><p> x</p><p> </p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!</p><p>She sends this one after seeing Tobin in a ridiculously hot outfit that made it very hard for Christen to concentrate on anything else.</p><p> </p><p>x</p><p> </p><p>At lunch the next day Tobin approaches her quietly. They eat in silence but Christen can feel the other girl’s tension and decides to ask her about it. “Are you okay? You’ve been so quiet today.”</p><p>“Yeah I’m fine.. it’s just –” Tobin hesitates, and Christen wishes it’s nothing to do with her. “What? Are you hurt? That foul Julie made on you looked nasty.”</p><p>“No, nothing like that. I’m fine... Okay, I’ll tell you but please don’t mention this to anyone else.” Christen nods as Tobin continues, “I have been exchanging messages with someone,” Christen freezes and waits for Tobin to finish her train of thought. “but the thing is, I don’t know who they are.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” <em>Keep a straight face Christen!</em></p><p>“They said they’re a secret admirer. It’s not a stalker, I’ve checked and believe them. But it’s driving me crazy not knowing.” she says sadly and looks down at the floor, a bit embarrassed it seems. “Ha, that’s funny. Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh, but it’s cute that someone out there has the hots for you but can’t say who they are.” <em>Yup. Play it cool. It’s fine. It’s totally fine.</em></p><p>“Right? I mean, it’s not like I have too many single friends to suspect.” Christen freezes at this and suggests, “Well, maybe it’s not even a friend? Just someone who has worked with you? Or someone from your hometown?”</p><p>Tobin seems to believe her. “Hm, maybe. I don’t know, this person just seems to get me. I have a feeling I know her well.”</p><p>“Her? Has she specified that she’s a woman?”</p><p>“No. But I can tell. A dude wouldn’t go through all this trouble.”</p><p>“Right. Dudes. Ew.” Tobin smiles at that. “What are you going to do, then?”</p><p>“There’s not much I <em>can</em> do. I’ll keep my eyes open, maybe ask a few friends. The upside is that meanwhile, I get to talk to someone who seems pretty funny.” <em>Am I jealous of myself? No. </em>“She sounds like a special person. Hope you figure it out soon.” Christen is such an amazing actress. She deserves an Emmy.</p><p>Tobin looks at her and smirks. This would be a good time to finally come clean and ask her out. But they’re surrounded by their teammates and this isn’t the way Christen has planned to do it. She returns the smile and quickly makes up some silly excuse to run back to her room. </p><p>PHEW that was close.</p><p> </p><p>x</p><p> </p><p>She needs a new strategy. She can’t let Tobin wonder for too long, even if it is cute to see her all flustered like that. She feels a little proud that Tobin has been thinking about her (even if she doesn’t know it’s her) and decides to step up her game.</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> Are you Arsenal? Because you make me wanna shout.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> so u know I’m a gunner. But that doesn’t narrow things down</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> can u help me out? Gimme some clues?</p><p>Christen has to think for a minute before replying. She could give the girl a break even though she’s enjoying this way too much.</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> Okay. You can ask 5 questions.</p><p>Her heart beats faster while she waits for the reply. She can’t be too obvious with her answers.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]: </strong>dope! Do we work together?</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> Yes.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> what is your hair color? And your eyes?</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> I will answer one of those. My hair is dark.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> ok not helpful at all</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> I need better questions</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> what is your name?</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> Ha! You know I won’t answer that and you’ve just wasted a question. 2 to go</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> unfair. I see u play a tough game</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> are u a soccer player?</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> Yes</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> k last q. Have I talked to u in the last month?</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> Yes.</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> Did that help you at all?</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> maybe. If you can be coy and mysterious then so can I :)</p><p>Christen has a huge grin on her face as she wishes Tobin a good night. Alex looks at her funny and asks what is making her smile so much. Christen tries to play it cool, “Oh, just a meme I saw.” Alex doesn’t seem to believe it.</p><p> </p><p>x</p><p> </p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> Soccer players can go for 90 minutes and know 11 different positions. Just letting you know!</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> ngl that actually made me laugh</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> That’s the whole point. Have a good game. Maybe you’ll score a goal for me?</p><p>Tobin scores once, Christen scores twice.</p><p>Maybe Christen notices their hug after each goal lasts a tiny bit longer than usual. Maybe she notices Tobin looking at her more often. Maybe Christen is overthinking everything and being too gay and too in love.</p><p>Just maybe.  </p><p>The team decides to go out to celebrate after the game. When Christen comes back from the bar to their table, she notices Tobin writing something on her phone. Christen finds it odd since Tobin rarely takes her phone with her when they go out. She thinks -- <em>hopes</em> - that maybe Tobin was texting her other number. But, as luck would have it, she left the phone in her hotel room.</p><p>Once she’s finally back to her room, she beelines for the phone to find two new messages. The first one matches the time she saw Tobin typing on her phone.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]: </strong>did u enjoy my goal? ;)</p><p>The second one was sent just 20 minutes ago and it makes Christen shiver at the thought that Tobin might be close to figuring it all out.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]: </strong>u haven’t answered yet, which means u’re busy or maybe out to drink w me. I’m getting closer aren’t I?</p><p>Christen doesn’t answer. It would be too obvious. She decides to ignore the last text and answer the next day.</p><p> </p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> It was a fantastic goal.</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> If you were my football, I'd never pass because I want to keep you all to myself.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> I see u dodging my q. I’ll let it go bc that was really sweet :)</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> You bring out the idiot in me.</p><p> </p><p>x</p><p> </p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> I can score from multiple positions.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> another clue? are you a striker?</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> No. I said multiple positions as in.. nvm</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> wait was that a sext? we’re not there yet</p><p>Christen blushes and doesn’t answer. <em>My game is so freaking weak!</em></p><p> </p><p>x</p><p> </p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> I can bend it better than Beckham.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> so can I. Beckham’s got nothing on me</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> …</p><p>Another failed attempt. She decides to stop with the sexy one liners, apparently she either sucks at it or Tobin just doesn’t get them.</p><p> </p><p>x</p><p> </p><p>Christen has just woken up when she sees a text waiting for her. It makes her heart flutter.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> why haven’t you said anything before?</p><p>Christen reads and hopes Tobin doesn’t know it’s her yet. She thought she was ready, but talking to Tobin like this has been so good. She wants to enjoy it just a while longer.</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> I was.. am… afraid.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]: </strong>of what</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> Rejection.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]: </strong>what made u txt me?</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> I couldn’t live without knowing any longer.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]: </strong>u still don’t know though. And neither do I</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> You will soon. I just..</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> I need more time.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]: </strong>it’s ok. I get it.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]: </strong>but either way we’ll still be friends. no matter what happens.</p><p>Of course Tobin would be this perfect. <em>Fuck. I love her.</em></p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> I’ll get there soon, I promise.</p><p> </p><p>x</p><p> </p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> Are you a gold medal? Because I won't stop until I get to you.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> I do like this competitive side of yours.</p><p> </p><p>x</p><p> </p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> I wish I could look into your eyes</p><p> </p><p>x</p><p> </p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> <em> swoon</em></p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> where would u take me on our first date?</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> Does this mean you’ll go on a date with me?</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> no. It means I want to know where you’d take me.</p><p><strong>[secret admirer]:</strong> On a walk, near a lake or a beach. We’d take some food, I know how you need to eat every three hours or you get hangry. I’d buy you your favorite bagel (french toast with bacon, egg and cheese). We’d sit down and chat while we watch the sunset. If I’m lucky enough we’d walk back holding hands and I’d kiss you goodnight under your porch lights.</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> u know me well</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> really well</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> I have a feeling I know who u are</p><p>It’s not like Christen didn’t see this coming. But it still takes her by surprise.</p><p><strong>[Christen &lt;3]:</strong> And how did you figure it out? Was it the bagel?</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> Only one person can make me feel like you do</p><p><strong>[Christen &lt;3]:</strong> What do you mean?</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> only you can make me feel like a little girl with a crush</p><p><strong>[Tobin]:</strong> only you can give me butterflies, even through a hidden identity</p><p><strong>[Tobin]: </strong>only you would read my mind and know my perfect date night</p><p>Christen is speechless. There’s nothing else she can do, except take the bait.</p><p><strong>[Christen &lt;3]:</strong> …and who am I?</p><p>Suddenly Alex gets up from the bed next to hers, puts on her slides and says, “I’ve got to.. go. Alyssa uhm.. needs help solving a crossword. See ya!”</p><p>Christen frowns at that. Since when does Alyssa ask people for help? And to solve crosswords? And since when does Alex know how to solve crosswords? Something smells fishy. But before she can think any further about her roommate’s weird exit there’s a soft knock on her door.</p><p>She gets out of bed, thinking Alex had forgotten something and opens the door with an annoyed expression.</p><p>But instead of the striker’s blue eyes, she’s met with bright honey eyes. It takes her a second to realize what is going on as she really takes Tobin in and sees her wearing a smile as big as the world. </p><p>She’s been caught. Tobin is here. She knows. There’s no way out now. It’s now or never. She looks at Tobin again and smiles. It’s as if she can read her eyes and it says, <em>“it’s you.”</em></p><p>She can’t think of anything to say, she just slowly opens the door to let Tobin in, trying to gain herself some time. As she turns she takes a breath and quickly says, “Willyougooutonadatewithme?”</p><p>“What? Can you repeat that please? I’ve been reading too many texts lately and I think it has affected my hearing.” Tobin is still beaming. <em>How can anyone smile that much?</em></p><p>Christen closes her eyes and tries to re-center herself. If Tobin is here, it’s because she doesn’t hate her. If Tobin is here, she can be brave and ask this once and for all, “I said… will you go out on a date with me?”</p><p>Tobin’s smile gets larger, if that’s even possible, and exclaims “I thought you’d never ask!” Christen can’t help but plunge herself into Tobin and give her the warmest of hugs. Tobin embraces her without a second thought. She smells like vanilla and strawberries, like rain on a hot day, like home. And Christen thinks she could get lost in her forever.</p><p>The invitation didn’t go the way Christen had planned. But nothing with Tobin goes according to plan. Tobin sets her body on fire, takes the Earth off its axis, destroys Christen's whole world only to build her a new and better one. And that’s just a few of the many things Christen loves about her.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hope you enjoyed it, please let me know what you think.<br/>stay safe. BLM.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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